


war and running and running

by sodiumflare



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, The Red Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:01:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodiumflare/pseuds/sodiumflare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What's a mother?" Katya asks, curious, after one of your lessons. You have been learning about mothers, families, weaknesses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	war and running and running

What do you -

Lips the color of winestain. Hair pinned back. Feet in new sandals, wobbling on the heel. Clutching the wrist of the girl next to you, feeling the bones move under her skin, knowing that she won't let you fall. Snow on the water. Drains in cold cement floors. A bowl of pears on a windowsill, lace curtains fluttering in a fall breeze. A boy sits on a tank, kisses you. A knife in the dark. A set of long, low buildings, lights glowing gold in the dusk. Masha's boot on your hand as you boost her over the wall. There's a fox in the snow. There's blood in the snow. You slide a splinter out of Ivanka's palm. She hisses between her teeth.

In the night, stars, and one of the older girls pointing out the asynchronous light of a spacecraft. "Is it one of ours?" you ask, breath like smoke in the cold. "You can't tell from here," she says. The wooden stair rail under your fingers, tugging on fresh blisters. The man dislocates your shoulder. You do not scream. "Again," someone says, and you pirouette perfectly, the fiftieth time that day the hundredth it doesn't matter. "You never break," someone says. A growth spurt: all knees and ankles and clumsiness in the halls, but you never fall. The lights come on at dusk. You thread a shoelace through its hole, mouth taut with concentration. Katya paints your eyelids gold. A pot of beets on the stove. The glory of -

No one can cause pain like a doctor. You are faster than all of them but you cannot outrun a dog. They take you to a lake. "Swim," they say, and you do. You do not know where you are going. When you are tired, you drift on your back. They take Katya in the night. They take you in the night. They take all of you. Vassily should not be in Sophie's room, and Sophie's mouth is bright with blood and you descend upon Vassily like animals you have seen in the woods. Ivanka washes dirt from your hair in the cold shower. The feel of bone under your fingers like twigs. "What's a mother?" Katya asks, curious, after one of your lessons. You have been learning about mothers, families, weaknesses.

Everything is a lesson. Hol vannak a fájlok? A che ora parte il treno viene?  In a gadda da vida, honey, don't you know that I love you? Leaves under your feet. Your knuckles bleed, scab, scar. One morning there are no scars and it is springtime. _Hurt_ is not a word your body knows anymore. Almond blossoms outside your window. "Is this where we were children?" Marya asks. Were you children once? You are not children now. A bonfire: a feast, the scent of woodsmoke, the taste of pork fat on your tongue. They bring you a man with a bag on his head and you kill him. They bring you a man without a bag on his head and you kill him. They bring you a woman who cries for her husband, her children, and Ivanka cuts her throat. Masha holds her in the night, whispers into her hair. You sew ribbons to your shoes. Masha vanishes but her shadow lingers. "Dance," they say, and you do.

Tea cakes on the table. Sara licks honey from her finger. You rim your eyes with kohl. Yelena presses a blade to your hand. The smell of sulphur: the flare of a match. "Run," no one says, but you do not stop.

\- It's not important.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Warsan Shire. 
> 
> Warning for minor body horror. 
> 
> Apparently the Crimson Peak soundtrack is really good for, uh, hideously depressing vignettes.


End file.
